Helpful?



I hate it when I am completely dressed and ready to walk out the door and someone lets me know that the pants I am wearing make my butt look big, or my shirt sleeves are too short or that the color I am wearing really doesn’t look good on me.  

My standard response is, “helpful?”

If it is obviously too late to change whatever you see as a flaw and it is, quite possibly, only a flaw in your eyes, it is anything but helpful to let me know about it.  I bring this up this morning because of the completely unhelpful comments I keep seeing posted on the internet.  

I’ve been having a lot of fun following along with the production of the “Outlander” series that will premier on Starz this summer.  The cast and crew have been fantastic about including those of us who love the books in the process of bringing this story to life.  They tweet and post on Facebook and Instagram.  They actually take the time out of their very busy days to include those of us who will probably never get be part of a TV or movie production crew.  

They vast majority of people following the show post encouraging, funny or excited responses.  Then there are those who believe that the cast and crew are in need of an unhelpful nagging parent to let them know of any and all mistakes (or what they perceive as mistakes).  

When a picture was posted this morning of the two main characters at a Golden Globes event someone thought it would be a good idea to tell the stunning Caitriona Balfe that they didn’t like her dress and she looked better in another one.  Helpful?  Hurtful?  

Caitriona Balfe. I wish I looked like that in any dress!
If someone we know posts a picture of themselves at a dressy event, would we ever be so incredibly rude?  “Hey, Miranda, loved your wedding, but your dress, not so much,” or “Judy, happy 30th birthday, too bad you didn’t wear the jeans that make you look skinny.”  

Even more rude and ridiculous are the comments about things that can never be changed.  Letting someone know that you think they are not tall enough is NEVER helpful.  

Because of this blog, my upcoming novel, and the Starz series I am now connected to social media daily.  I have “met” some incredibly funny, clever people whose comments add to both a conversation and my day.  Because I work in an office of 1, these people are now like my coworkers who I check in with everyday (OK, every couple of hours.)  

This morning, I’m dropping a heavy hint to a few in our virtual office who may have forgotten that comments posted on the internet cannot be erased and that celebrities are actual people, just like your family and friends.  I sincerely hope that my advice is helpful.