I was more than a little shocked when I overheard
my oldest son refer to Marilyn Monroe as a whore.
He was telling a story about someone in his class
quoting her and he wanted to invalidate what Marilyn said by calling her a
whore. This raised so many red flags for
me that I stopped our already-crazed morning routine to have a little talk with
(or more like, at) him.
My first question – why would he think she was a
whore?
His answer – because she had affairs with married
men.
Me – jaw drop with record scratch sound effect and
a forlorn “what?” This was just getting
worse by the minute. I had a lot of bad
information to unravel for him in a very short time.
I started by pointing out that she was not married
when she dated JFK and RFK, they were.
She was not cheating on anyone, the men were. Not that I condone affairs, but my point is
that it is amazingly crazy to make the woman the evil one when it is the men
who were betraying their wives and families.
If anyone deserves a whore label in relation to these affairs, I would
have to put it on the Kennedy boys.
Which led to point number two – IF you are going
to invalidate anything someone says based on their past sexual behavior, then,
in this particular case, you should scratch everything said by these two men
from the record. Now he is starting to
see how ridiculous this idea is. JFK, in
particular, has delivered some truly inspiring political speeches. Should we ignore all his wisdom because of
his lack of sexual morality? Sadly, this
is done way too often to women (which just pisses me off! In case you can’t tell).
Which led to my summation – drop the double
standard. Join us in the 21
century. Shed that Neanderthal suit you
are wearing under your concert tee. It
takes two to tango. IF you are going to
judge, check who was hurting others with their behavior before pointing
fingers.
Side bar – I’m still trying to figure out how this
whole misogynistic idea works: these men
are so stupid that they are conned? forced? into an affair by the woman? What kind of box of rocks can’t say the word
NO.
Which led to my post script – (as he is trying to
run out the door) Other people’s sex lives are really none of our
business. Focus your massive brain and
teenage energy on something productive; like world peace, ending violence
against women, helping your mother more often.
I fought the urge to follow him out to the bus
stop in my jammies, robe and slippers to rest my case.
Labels: double standard, misogyny, shaming